Good morrow, my friends. I have been looking forward to this review for nearly a week, and now it is finally time! I don’t want to jump the gun, but, with just 15 days of carnival left this season, I do think I may have already eaten my favorite king cake of 2023. If you think you know of a better one, you had best let me know, and soon. But unless and until anyone does this, without further ado, I present to you my 2023 front runner, the Not Too Fancy Bakery Salted Caramel and Candied Pecan king cake.

Not Too Fancy Bakery is the trade name of Calvin Virgil, yet another home baker. Calvin started selling king cakes in 2016 and also sells other desserts and baked goods, such as a banana pudding that I hear is out of this world. Can it be as good as this king cake?? I guess I’ll have to find out. Not Too Fancy does pop-up events around town from time to time, which are advertised on Instagram. In years past, I know Calvin has shipped his cakes across the US, and this year, he had a fleeting shipping window back in January. I honestly don’t think you’ll be able to get this cake shipped to you at this point this year, but there’s always next year. Start following him on Instagram now, y’all. The local pick up, though, is out of his home in Kenner. … I know. Kenner. Kenner! Let’s just say that if any one thing has EVER been worth a drive to Kenner, it’s this cake. And, y’all, the AIRPORT is in Kenner.

I want to do this cake justice and it’s not going to be easy, but I’m going to try. I’ll start by just saying that this cake is STUPID GOOD. It’s so good, it’s almost comical. Except it’s too good to be funny.

I also want to mention that Calvin has his business model down to a science. He is efficient, reliable, gracious, and kind. He has a system that (I assume) results in a limited number of cakes sold, but those cakes are always spot on. His product is CONSISTENT. I can say with some confidence that—while everyone can have off days, and we are all human—Calvin puts so much pride into his product that he leaves very little room for human error. That kind of attention to detail is the reason I never skip this cake. It will always be good, every time.

According to the BBKC, Calvin attended the International Culinary Center in NYC on scholarship. He moved back to New Orleans and became a pastry chef, which is when he created the idea for this king cake. Let’s break it down.

The dough is so good that it just might make you shed a tear. This king cake uses a croissant dough, which Calvin says keeps the king cakes from getting too sweet and also adds a lightness. The layers of pastry are flaky on the outside and buttery and soft on the inside. It’s crispy and soft at the same time. It’s delicious and perfect. I love this dough. Because of the dough (and, honestly, some of the “bells and whistles”) some of y’all may think this doesn’t quite constitute a king cake. Calvin’s response to this, per the BBKC, is that “food evolves over time,” and king cakes (like pizza and pasta) have come a long way from their original form. I love this answer, but it’s different from my answer to the same hypothetical criticism, which is a simple “no, you’re wrong.” Those of y’all who have had this cake know what I’m talking about. It’s beyond good.

And now to discuss the filling. One thing that I love the most about Calvin is that he literally does not sell a single king cake that isn’t filled with cream cheese. I mean, mad respect, Calvin. Live your truth. Especially if your truth is this filling, because it is INCREDIBLE. Seriously, no notes. It is perfect. It is more than perfect. It is the cream cheese filling I didn’t think was possible. It is the cream cheese filling of my actual dreams. The combination of the cream cheese filling with the layers of flaky dough is nearly indescribable. You really have to try it yourself. Really, you do.

The topping on this cake is a triptych of delight. First, the icing, which is really more of a sugar glaze than a traditional white icing. This is important because a real icing would almost definitely be too much in terms of sugar. The glaze keeps it in check. Second, the cake is drizzled with a generous (but not overbearing) amount of salted caramel sauce. It is excellent. Finally, the piece de resistance (of the topping, and maybe the cake, but DEFINITELY the topping): the candied pecans. These little sugar-coated pecans are delicious when fished individually from the box (lol) and also add a nice texture to the bite when consumed as intended. The candied pecans alone I would buy for myself.

This cake also keeps REALLY well. I left it on the counter on the day I bought it until I had my first slice(s) but then refrigerated it after that. I then took the box out of the fridge and allowed it to come to room temperature before serving myself a slice. It was nearly as good on the last day that I ate it (let’s be real, the cake only made it three days before I had to slice up the last of it and give it away… for my health). There are so many amazing things about this cake, and although I’m sure I could think of at least five more, I’m going to conclude here by saying that I WOULD WALK TO KENNER IN THE RAIN FOR THIS CAKE. There aren’t enough stars in the world.